MOST RECENT LINGO

My Hands Are Tied

 

(1).  What your boss says right after your comp discussion and right before he drives home in his Maserati.

 

“So, there it is, Jim.  I’m sorry we couldn’t do more for you this year, but my hands are tied.  Something, something … down year … something, something … we all have to share the pain … something, somethi … hey, what’re you doing with that letter opener?”

 

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Densification

 

(1).  The art of taking a productive, manageable space and stuffing it with as many people as possible to save a couple of bucks on heat or air conditioning or something.

 

(2).  The art of continually hiring people who bring down the overall IQ of the firm.

 

“Alright, everyone … so next week we’re implementing the firm’s densification strategy.  Mike, you’re now sharing an office with Stacy.  Stacy, you’re also sharing an office with Will.  Will, you’re going to be sharing your space with Paul.  And, Paul … what’re your thoughts on standing all day?”

 

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CORPORATE LINGO DONE RIGHT, SORT OF...

After getting up at 5:30 in the morning, commuting for 90 minutes on two trains (while sitting next to that guy who decided to hit the breakfast burrito truck on the way to the station), is there anything worse than finding out that your boss scheduled a last-minute 8 a.m. conference call? Well, if you’re anything like us, it’s having to endure all that cheesy corporate lingo you’re going to be blasted with.

 

It makes you wonder: Do these guys even have a clue as to what all that corporate jargon means?

 

And, perhaps even more importantly: Didn’t these guys go to college?

 

A Corporate Jargon Dictionary For The Rest of Us

 

CheesyCorporateLingo.com is our attempt to document how the business world continues to mangle the English language. Why is this website important? Simple – because deciphering corporate lingo saps our time and brainpower.

 

Imagine how much more productive you’ll be when you are quickly able to interpret John in Accounting’s abuse of the English language! This site is the decoder ring for the new millennium.

 

So, if you agree that “irregardless” isn’t an actual word … and if you’re tired of listening to endless corporate jargon … then CheesyCorporateLingo.com is for you!

 

… and if you have a term that’s close to your heart and you want to share with the world (or if you’ve got a better definition for one of ours) … submit it

 

DON’T FORGET TO VISIT THE CHEESYCORPORATELINGO.COM STORE FOR SOME GREAT CCL MERCH! (ugh…merch?  Dude…)

 

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