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(1). Overwhelming new employees by not having a game plan for training and just throwing them into meetings and projects.
“Glad to have you on the team, Megan. Well, I’m out for the next couple of weeks, so I guess it’ll be a bit of a baptism by fire for you. The manual is on that pile on my desk, I think. Good luck!”
Props to Lara for the submission.
(1). A huge, and largely cosmetic, upgrade to your current, obsolete systems. Or in other words … money well spent!
“So, we are looking to roll out the platform uplift sometime in Q2. Certain dependencies remain which may impact this timeline, including Ken over here never showing up for work. Oh, and Ken? Can you see me in my office after this call?”
(1). A series of empty promises made to a prospective client, designed to entice them to hire your firm.
“I hear what you’re saying, Al, but we can’t just sell these people a bag of goods and then have them find out we can deliver on about 2% of what we promised! What are we, iPhones?!”
