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RANDOM LINGO
Efficiencies
(1). Mysterious secrets known only to business consultants which are intended to make a company operate in a more proficient and cost-effective manner (see achieve scale). Usually referenced by project managers to indicate to their superiors that they are adding value, when in reality, they are simply maintaining an endless “to do” list.
“Look, Tim, my job here is to find efficiencies that will make us a better business. Now, if you don’t mind, I have to get back to re-writing our coffee break policies and procedures.”
Rearrange the Deck Chairs on the Titanic
(1). To futilely attempt to stop the inevitable collapse of a business, project or career.
“Mike, all of these personnel changes you’re making is just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. No one buys our stuff anymore! I mean, who the hell needs a beeper in 2012!”