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(1). A term used when trying to deflect a client’s request for your opinion on the future of the economy or, even worse, his investment performance.
“Look, Brenda, I don’t want to give you some kind of crystal ball analysis about what’s going to happen two, three years from now. What I can tell you is that your overall portfolio could’ve done a lot worse considering all the Facebook stock we bought!”
(1). To immediately process and hand something off.
“The data will be swivel chaired into the ASYLUM management tool. Boy, we really need to start coming up with better acronyms for our applications…”
Props to Kyle B. for the submission.
Definition
(1). A nautical term used by new managers or consultants when describing their plan for turning around a struggling business unit (or, in other words, layoffs).
“Team, Q3 results come out tomorrow and I don’t have to tell you all it’s not going to be pretty. We need to right the ship or else all of us are going to be looking for new jobs. Speaking of which…Jim, can I see you in my office after we wrap up here?”
Real Life Lingo
I am not sure why so many of these terms are derived from the sea. Perhaps it’s because every manager believes they are the captain of some sort of seafaring vessel with a copy machine on deck. Either way, a few years ago I worked at an upstart .com, and my boss loved to say we are going to right the ship every time things weren’t going too well. Which pretty much was the entire year I worked there, so I heard that phrase a lot.
My advice to anyone would be two-fold, one, when you’re trying to make your band and musical dreams work, don’t just take the first job that says ok to hiring you, they may go out of business and never pay you. And two, if your boss is constantly saying that you are going to right the ship in the next quarter, it’s probably time to start looking for a new job.
Fair seas matey!
