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(1). A statement suggesting that wearing that Pearl Jam t-shirt to work probably isn’t the best path to management.
“Hey Dave, I saw you applied for the director’s position, that’s great! One thing though. “Ten” came out like 20 years ago so you might want to start throwing a button-down on once in awhile. Dress for the job you want, not the job you have! Ya know what I mean?”
(1). The art of turning a simple PDF into an annoying, electronic form that never has enough room to fit what you want to write or simply adjusts the size of the entry so you can’t make it out at all. The result: you end up printing it off and pen-and-inking all of the entries by hand.
“So, I just finished green fielding the new account documents. It looks great, although, we should probably mention somewhere that you’re limited to 30 characters on every line.”
(1). What your secretary tells people you don’t want to talk to on the phone.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Williamson had to step away for a minute … can I take a message? You’d like to hold? Hmmm … perhaps I should just put you through to voicemail…”
