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(1). An forced acknowledgement by one of your vendors that they’ve been gouging you for years. They’ll give you a little discount to promote the strong inertia pulling you to stay with them for at least one more year of excellent service!
“Sure, Rita … we’ll take a look at our engagement to see if we can find you a little fee relief. I have to say, though, we’re operating at breakeven as it is, so ….”
(1). When a political candidate changes his mind on an issue. Because we should all be held to some stupid thing we said 20 years ago in a college paper about God or the environment. I don’t know about you guys, but most of my college papers were written in about 45 minutes the night before it was due. Who knows what I said?!
“This just goes to prove that the governor flip flops on the issues. How can we believe anything he says when we know that in 8th grade he believed the greatest threat to our nation was the New Kids on the Block? And now he says it’s Iran! Incredible!”
(1). The homeless.
“There has been an increase of outdoor citizen activity near the south end of the property. Please call security if you encounter any outdoor citizens on the property.”
Props to Andrew C. for the submission.
