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(1). An overcrowded, battleship-gray building in an office park outside of Dubuque where you forced all of your ops guys to move to a couple of years ago.
“Don’t worry, Sam. You’re going to love the new location. It’s got all the amenities you could ask for – a Sunglass Hut, Macaroni Grill, and I heard they might be building a Walgreens, like, less than a mile away. A real high value site for us!”
(1). A giant picnic table in the hallway with computer screens where about fifteen people get to enjoy listening to every, stinking word the guys on either side of him are saying all day long.
“So, this is the pod where your screen will be. Oh, and this is Joe, Mike, Kimmie, Sarah and George. One word of advice – I wouldn’t go talking to your doctor or girlfriend or anything here. George is a serial tweeter. Welcome aboard!”
(1). Those lovable, less-then-presentable guys who work in your tech department. While we all know they are making fun of us behind our backs, we can all take solace in the fact that they are all a stone’s throw away from being Hobbits, and will always fix our computers after we “accidentally” open that porn site.
“Hey Dave, have you seen any of the neck beards around? Do you think you can call them for me? I opened up ANOTHER email, which took me to ANOTHER porn site. Weird right? Third time this month. I would ask them, but every time I screw my computer up and ask them to fix it, they look at me like I just deleted their level 80 dark elf in World of Warcraft.”
