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(1). Those useless reports on who does what, how many customers they work with, and so on, and so forth…. The upside: It keeps whole departments of analysts employed. God Bless America (and/or India)!
“So, Jeremy ran the metrics on our regional sales teams. It turns out we have more customers in densely-populated areas than in rural ones. Go figure.”
(1). A company’s first clients that help them get to the point of notification that they no longer service clients of their size.
“Oh god, Bill from Fountains! Fountains! Fountains! is still on board? I thought we got rid of all of those legacy clients after the merger? Ok, let’s just send him an email from Ted’s outlook saying that we can no longer service his needs. Ted? He won’t care, he’s a team player!”
(1). An expression used to imply that you have been dealing with crises all day, in an attempt to (1) passive-aggressively complain about your job, (2) make yourself seem more important than you actually are, or (3) avoid taking on more work.
“Man, the bigger clients I almost exclusively work on are so demanding! I’ve been putting out fires all afternoon. I wish I worked on smaller, less meaningful clients like you, Jaime. My life would be so much easier!”
