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(1). Those useless reports on who does what, how many customers they work with, and so on, and so forth…. The upside: It keeps whole departments of analysts employed. God Bless America (and/or India)!
“So, Jeremy ran the metrics on our regional sales teams. It turns out we have more customers in densely-populated areas than in rural ones. Go figure.”
(1). A sexually-charged euphemism for forcing employees to plug their company’s other products or services to their existing clients.
“Team, for the coming fiscal year, we are going to be focusing on the cross-pollination of the firm’s other products. So, get out there and make sure your clients are all opening new checking accounts! Toasters for all!”
(1). Term used in advertising when two firms merge (due to takeover, government intervention, bankruptcy, etc.) to imply that customers should actually be pleased with what will likely result in poorer service and higher fees.
“We are proud to announce that the Bank of the Southern Climes has joined forces with First National Bank of Blister County to bring you an even better client experience than ever before. Please note the following branch closings…”
