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(1). A sharp statistical uptick. Like every stock price when we thought Trump wasn’t crazy.
“So, last quarter’s net surplus seems to have been a bit of a pig in the python. After reviewing the annualized numbers, we’re basically flat for the year, mostly due to the drop-off in sales in the northeast region thanks to Larry’s crumbling marriage.”
Props to Kevin for the submission!
(1). That underselling new competitor that’s going to run your little mom-and-pop operation right out of business.
“Let’s be a disruptor in the sector, that’s where we want to be.”
Props to R. James for the submission.
(1). The awkward discussion you have after a pitch with a prospect to figure out why you didn’t win the business (read: why you suck) so you can “do better next time”.
(2). The meeting that happens after a big project is completed, where everyone gathers round to discuss who will be the scapegoat for everything that went wrong.
“Listen guys, doing a post-mortem is a solid way to figure out what we did right and what we did wrong. I mean, Jerry dropping the F-bomb a few times didn’t help, and Lisa, breaking down crying in the middle of the meeting when your GoToMyPC froze probably wasn’t great either. You know what, on second thought, maybe we don’t need to do this…..Jerry and Lisa, can you come to my office for a minute?”
