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(1). A sharp statistical uptick. Like every stock price when we thought Trump wasn’t crazy.
“So, last quarter’s net surplus seems to have been a bit of a pig in the python. After reviewing the annualized numbers, we’re basically flat for the year, mostly due to the drop-off in sales in the northeast region thanks to Larry’s crumbling marriage.”
Props to Kevin for the submission!
(1). A bank employee who’s not exactly a lawyer, but not exactly a broker. He receives no commission for bringing in new business and often is required to say “no” to his clients for seemingly mundane requests. He … oh, who cares? Just think Jane Hathaway from The Beverly Hillbillies and you’ve got the idea.
“So, Eugene … you’re a trust officer … okay, so what exactly does a trust officer do … ? Hmm … I’m not sure those skills translate to anything we are looking for right now. Thanks for coming by, though, I’m sure you’re a valued part of the team over there at [insert bank name].”
Happy 500th term, CheesyCorporateLingo.com!
(1). What Congress does … all the time.
“Sure we avoided the fiscal cliff today, but all we’ve really done is kick the can down the road…thank god I’ll be long dead before any of this really matters!”
