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(1). A sharp statistical uptick. Like every stock price when we thought Trump wasn’t crazy.
“So, last quarter’s net surplus seems to have been a bit of a pig in the python. After reviewing the annualized numbers, we’re basically flat for the year, mostly due to the drop-off in sales in the northeast region thanks to Larry’s crumbling marriage.”
Props to Kevin for the submission!
(1). Something you build into the system to prevent those morons in the business from bringing down the company by punching the wrong keys.
“Oh, don’t worry about that … we’ve put a hard block on changing those kinds of account parameters. Just make sure your people don’t try to hit the ‘any’ key.”
(1). What your boss says right after your comp discussion and right before he drives home in his Maserati.
“So, there it is, Jim. I’m sorry we couldn’t do more for you this year, but my hands are tied. Something, something … down year … something, something … we all have to share the pain … something, somethi … hey, what’re you doing with that letter opener?”
