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(1). A standard PowerPoint presentation used for all prospective clients in which the prospect‘s name is inserted in two or three places to make it appear as if it was prepared just for them.
“Hey Courtney, can you email me a copy of the most recent pitchbook? I just want to make sure all of my phony baloney certifications are listed in my bio.”
(1). A full staff meeting where employees are supposed to be able to pose questions to upper management. They can’t. All questions are plants. Just keep quiet and you won’t get fired.
“Thank you, everyone, for dialing in today. This town hall meeting is an important forum for all of us to talk openly and honestly about the business. All questions should be directed to that burning oildrum behind the building. Now, our first agenda item is ‘cost reductions’…”
(1). An essential skill or expertise, often found not to be possessed by that guy you hired a couple of weeks ago.
“So, Brad…I’m not sure math is one of your core competencies. You might want to start considering other options. You know, not with us here at KPMG.”
