(1). When you only hire people in your department who will never, ever pose a threat to you. That’s one way to find the “best people”, champ.
“So, we’ve had four people come through here that were perfect for the job. But Florence rejected every one of them. Trying a little empire-building, I think. The joke’s on her, though … we’re just going to take away the req.”
(1). A conference (1) that requires travel to a hotel or resort (usually connected to a golf course), (2) whose sessions can be easily avoided, and (3) which includes multiple occasions to generously partake of the hotel bar, usually in the form of sponsored cocktail hours.
“I love these boondoggles. Nothing but golf, booze and time away from the kids. By the way, did anyone go to that ‘Ethical Financial & Banking Practices’ seminar? No? Ok good, I didn’t either. 2008 is going to be a great year!”