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(1). The tough love statement you need to tell your client when they refuse to believe that nobody likes their brand, company, or product.
“Listen Mike, it doesn’t matter how many times you say “everyone loves our manure scented candles” and “they smell like nature”, it just isn’t true. Your baby is ugly. Manandles stink, literally.”
(1). The people who go out on the battlefield after the war is lost, and bayonet the wounded.
“Okay, team…it sounds like we’ve got the auditors coming in August 1st. Just remember, their job is to find the tiniest, most insignificant thing wrong with the way you do your jobs and then treat it like it put the whole company at risk. Enjoy the rest of your summer!”
Props to Alison A. for the submission.
(1). When you haven’t heard back from a prospect in a really long time despite several follow-ups (hint: they did not hire you).
“Boy, ever since our initial meeting, it’s been radio silence from those guys. Maybe I should send them a fruit basket or something. I don’t know…”
