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(1). A polite way to acknowledge a suggestion or idea that you actually think is completely irrelevant or incorrect.
“That’s a fair point, John, and thanks for raising it. Although, I’m not sure getting back into the subprime mortgage game is the way to go right now.”
0-4+10
(1). An forced acknowledgement by one of your vendors that they’ve been gouging you for years. They’ll give you a little discount to promote the strong inertia pulling you to stay with them for at least one more year of excellent service!
“Sure, Rita … we’ll take a look at our engagement to see if we can find you a little fee relief. I have to say, though, we’re operating at breakeven as it is, so ….”
0-4+10
(1). A general term used to describe both positive and negative comments, often during performance reviews. As with actual feedback, the comments are usually painful to hear and often result in headaches.
0-40-1
(1). A last minute scramble to deal with an artificially-created emergency, usually occurring at approximately four o’clock on a Friday afternoon and whose successful completion results in zero thanks and several missed trains.
0-400
(1). The sale of a company or business unit at an extremely low price solely for the purpose of getting rid of it (see stop the bleeding).
0-400
(1). A way to signal to everyone in the meeting that this is the only agenda item you want to talk about and that all of the other stuff is meaningless to you.
“Okay, team, well, first and foremost, I want to address 2012 compensation. I understand many of you may have booked vacations for after the New Year…well, you might want to rethink those plans for now…”
Props to Jerry G. for the submission.
0-4+10
(1). The metaphorical Thelma and Louise ending to 2012, when Congress will absolutely fail to address all of the wacky sunset provisions they enacted in order to get through the November elections.
“We’re heading for a fiscal cliff in December, and you all know it! And what are we going to do about it, Senators? Well, I don’t know about you, but I vote for a recess!”
0-4+10
(1). Taking a simple outline and providing all of the details to support it.
“Okay, now picture this…Return of the GO BOTS! What do you think? Doesn’t matter…Tom, why don’t you flesh it out and get back to us with a proposal for our Monday morning meeting. Well, have a good weekend, everyone!”
Props to Ross G. for the submission.
0-4+10
(1). When a political candidate changes his mind on an issue. Because we should all be held to some stupid thing we said 20 years ago in a college paper about God or the environment. I don’t know about you guys, but most of my college papers were written in about 45 minutes the night before it was due. Who knows what I said?!
“This just goes to prove that the governor flip flops on the issues. How can we believe anything he says when we know that in 8th grade he believed the greatest threat to our nation was the New Kids on the Block? And now he says it’s Iran! Incredible!”
0-4+10
(1). The concurrence of all of the guys in Tech about some new enhancement you want to build, followed by the immediate return to World of Warcraft.
“Let me just socialize this around the office to gain a little floor acceptance and then I think we should be good to go.”
0-4+10
(1). A term used to describe a senior manager’s brief attendance at a client meeting in hopes of sufficiently impressing the client so that they stay with the company for at least another year.
“I’m going to take a leak, do a fly-by for the meeting with Jonathan, then it’s off to Cabo!”
0-400
(1). When information, documents, papers, emails, etc. are placed into a physical or digital folder for organizational ease of use.
“My secretary will folderize all of my invoices according to month so she can file them away appropriately.”
Props to Brad for the submission.
0-4+10
(1). A euphemism for “my old job” used by people trying to make it look like they have way more experience than they really do.
“In my former life, I used to manage a team responsible for lavatory paper management. It was a lot of responsibility, but I think I handled the pressures of leadership fairly well.”
0-4+10
(1). A term used by upper management to politely tell employees that their work is late and/or not up to par.
“Just a friendly reminder that your time sheets are due on the end of each week and that it is NOT ok to mark any time as “miscellaneous”. We’re all looking at you Matt.
0-400
(1). The client-facing employees in your company (a.k.a. the guys making all the money).
“Whoa, whoa, whoa…there’s no way Ops is going to push some kind of data entry project on the front office. You tell those guys to stop playing World of Warcraft in the office and start typing!”
0-4+10
(1). A way to indicate you are being all-inclusive (even if you have no idea if you are being all-inclusive).
0-400
(1). The manager who’s never around to manage.
(2). Your boss.
“Boy, Jim sure is an absent father these days. He blew off his own meeting because, in his words, it was ‘too nice out’”.
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