Face Time

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(1).  The tedious task of actually seeing and interacting with your client in person.

 

(2).  An unwelcome meet-up with your client that happens much too often and usually require a significant amount of traveling.  Most of the time these meet-ups revolve around the clients “hectic” schedule which is either a result of them being bored, or being at a conference in the middle of nowhere.

 

“Hey Alda, you know what?  I think we should meet up for some face time at the Monarch Butterfly Expo in Albuquerque!  It’s just as short plane, bus and cab drive away from you.  Whaddya say?”

 

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Failing Up

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(1).  Inexplicably continuing to advance in your career irrespective of results, skill, judgment or intelligence.  Good for you, boss!

 

“I don’t understand it!  Fred is months behind schedule, way over budget and they just gave him another huge project to manage!  Man, talk about failing up!”

 

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Fair Point

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(1).  A polite way to acknowledge a suggestion or idea that you actually think is completely irrelevant or incorrect.

 

“That’s a fair point, John, and thanks for raising it.  Although, I’m not sure getting back into the subprime mortgage game is the way to go right now.”

 

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Fee Relief

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(1).  An forced acknowledgement by one of your vendors that they’ve been gouging you for years.  They’ll give you a little discount to promote the strong inertia pulling you to stay with them for at least one more year of excellent service!

 

“Sure, Rita … we’ll take a look at our engagement to see if we can find you a little fee relief.  I have to say, though, we’re operating at breakeven as it is, so ….”

 

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Feedback

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(1). A general term used to describe both positive and negative comments, often during performance reviews.  As with actual feedback, the comments are usually painful to hear and often result in headaches.

 

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Fingerprints

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(1).  Hidden, yet obvious, indications that you had something to do with this, you lousy, conniving ….

 

“Yeah, well … this report may have Mike’s name on it, but it has Andy’s fingerprints all over it!”

 

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Fire Drill

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(1). A last minute scramble to deal with an artificially-created emergency, usually occurring at approximately four o’clock on a Friday afternoon and whose successful completion results in zero thanks and several missed trains.

 

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First and Foremost

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(1).  A way to signal to everyone in the meeting that this is the only agenda item you want to talk about and that all of the other stuff is meaningless to you.

 

“Okay, team, well, first and foremost, I want to address 2012 compensation.  I understand many of you may have booked vacations for after the New Year…well, you might want to rethink those plans for now…”

 

Props to Jerry G. for the submission.

 

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Fiscal Cliff

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(1).  The metaphorical Thelma and Louise ending to 2012, when Congress will absolutely fail to address all of the wacky sunset provisions they enacted in order to get through the November elections.

 

“We’re heading for a fiscal cliff in December, and you all know it!  And what are we going to do about it, Senators?  Well, I don’t know about you, but I vote for a recess!”

 

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Fish Or Cut Bait

& filed under .

 

(1).  Make a decision or get out of the way, New Boss with No Management Experience!

 

“Look, Jim, you’ve been ‘considering’ our proposal to switch to all-black pens for a week now.  Time to fish or cut bait, you know what I mean?”

 

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Flesh It Out

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(1).  Taking a simple outline and providing all of the details to support it.

 

“Okay, now picture this…Return of the GO BOTS!  What do you think?  Doesn’t matter…Tom, why don’t you flesh it out and get back to us with a proposal for our Monday morning meeting.  Well, have a good weekend, everyone!”

 

Props to Ross G. for the submission.

 

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Flesh Out

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(1).  To go back and add more detail to some half-assed idea you mentioned during last Monday’s staff meeting (not to be confused with “flush out”, which probably means something else entirely).

 

“Hey Dan, thanks for your input here.  I’d like you to flesh out your proposal a bit more, though.  Do you think you can have a functional spec ready for us by next Tuesday?  I know you’re getting married the next day, but this could really help us shave some pennies from our P&L.”

 

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Flip Flop

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(1).  When a political candidate changes his mind on an issue.  Because we should all be held to some stupid thing we said 20 years ago in a college paper about God or the environment.  I don’t know about you guys, but most of my college papers were written in about 45 minutes the night before it was due.  Who knows what I said?!

 

“This just goes to prove that the governor flip flops on the issues.  How can we believe anything he says when we know that in 8th grade he believed the greatest threat to our nation was the New Kids on the Block?  And now he says it’s Iran!  Incredible!”

 

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Floor Acceptance

& filed under .

 

(1).  The concurrence of all of the guys in Tech about some new enhancement you want to build, followed by the immediate return to World of Warcraft.

 

“Let me just socialize this around the office to gain a little floor acceptance and then I think we should be good to go.”

 

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Fly-By

& filed under .

 

(1).  A term used to describe a senior manager’s brief attendance at a client meeting in hopes of sufficiently impressing the client so that they stay with the company for at least another year.

 

“I’m going to take a leak, do a fly-by for the meeting with Jonathan, then it’s off to Cabo!”

 

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Folderize

& filed under .

 

(1).  When information, documents, papers, emails, etc. are placed into a physical or digital folder for organizational ease of use.

 

“My secretary will folderize all of my invoices according to month so she can file them away appropriately.”

 

Props to Brad for the submission.

 

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Former Life

& filed under .

 

(1).  A euphemism for “my old job” used by people trying to make it look like they have way more experience than they really do.

 

“In my former life, I used to manage a team responsible for lavatory paper management.  It was a lot of responsibility, but I think I handled the pressures of leadership fairly well.”

 

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Four-Legged Call

& filed under .

 

(1). Idiotic expression used to describe a sales call where an account exec is accompanied by his/her manager or other “expert”.

 

“So, Kyle brought a guy from the fixed income team with him this morning to talk about munis.  I guess he thought he needed to have a four-legged call to land the account.”

 

Props to Mike J. for the submission.

 

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Fourth of July

& filed under .

 

(1).  The annual celebration of the United States’ independence from its doddering, old father, England.  It’s also the day when your neighbor gets to (once again) try to blow his hand off by shooting off insanely illegal fireworks in what seems to be the general direction of your house.

 

“Hey, Tom.  I’m going to try to bug out at one o’clock today.  Want to beat the traffic out of the city, if I can,  Oh, before you leave, could you put together that P and L report for the board and circulate it to everyone?  Shouldn’t take more than five or six hours, I would think.  Happy Fourth of July!”

 

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Friendly Reminder

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(1). A term used by upper management to politely tell employees that their work is late and/or not up to par.

 

“Just a friendly reminder that your time sheets are due on the end of each week and that it is NOT ok to mark any time as “miscellaneous”.  We’re all looking at you Matt.

 

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Front Office

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(1).  The client-facing employees in your company (a.k.a. the guys making all the money).

 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa…there’s no way Ops is going to push some kind of data entry project on the front office.  You tell those guys to stop playing World of Warcraft in the office and start typing!”

 

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Full Court Press

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(1). A basketball term used by management to pressure sales staff to concentrate on a favored (read: expensive) or, more likely, under-performing product.

 

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