BROWSE BY ALPHA

Impactful

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(1).  Yikes - it means somebody is constipated.  And what’s wrong with “affect” for “impact”?

 

“You know, Tim, I’m just not sure the project you’ve been working on all year has been impactful to the company in the way you thought it would be.  You probably should’ve focused on your actual work instead…”

 

Props to Priscilla W. for the submission.

 

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In Flight

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(1).  A synonym for all over it, or more likely, another way to say “Oh crap, I totally forgot about that!”.

 

“Oh, hey Sue.  My proposal…?  It’s in flight!”

 

Props to Denise for the submission.

 

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In The Weeds

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(1). Too detailed.

 

(2). To explain a topic with too much detail to listeners who do not care about whatever it is you do.

 

“Whoa, whoa…we’re getting a little far in the weeds here.  Can we get back to ordering lunch?”

 

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Ingest Assets

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(1).  To upload electronic files.

 

“We’re reaching out to our offshore partners, asking them to ingest our assets after lunch.”

 

Props to D. M. for the submission.

 

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Instead of Shooting Fish in a Barrel, We Should Go Out and Buy a Fishing Pole

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(1).  A suggestion to stop focusing on many small action items (see low-hanging fruit) and target one, major problem to resolve.  The person who used this thought he was super clever.

 

“Look, guys, instead of shooting fish in a barrel, we should go out and buy a fishing pole and fix the underlying system issue that’s causing all of these other problems.  I’m awesome, by the way.”

 

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Institutional Arrogance

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(1).  When management thinks they are smarter than everyone else, including their regulators.

 

(2).  When management thinks they can simply manage their way out of anything.

 

“Well, Ken…I think there’s a little institutional arrogance coming out of the executive office on this Reg. W thing.  If it were me, I probably wouldn’t have opened the meeting by calling the Fed examiners a bunch of pencil-pushing bureaucrats.  But, that’s just me.”

 

Props to Tim P. for the submission.

 

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Internal-Use Only

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(1).  A way to identify a document or email that should not be sent outside of the firm, unless of course you are a disgruntled employee seeking a spectacular exit from your current job.

 

“Dude, I’m pretty sure that spreadsheet you just sent to the Wall Street Journal was internal-use only.”

 

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Investment Professional

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(1).  Stock broker.

 

“Okay, guys … we really want to start targeting high-net worth individuals this year.  So, we’re going to start calling you ‘investment professionals‘ to show you do more than push product.  That said, keep pushing product.”

 

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Irons In The Fire

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(1). An expression used by unemployed workers when speaking with former colleagues or in-laws to indicate that you are entertaining multiple job opportunities, when in reality, you have just been submitting your resume to postings on monster.

 

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Irregardless

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(1).  NOT

 

(2).  A

 

(3).  WORD.

 

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Ivory Tower

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(1). A magical place where lawyers dwell in which all situations have logical explanations and the real world is not permitted to distract from their pure, academic, legal analysis.

 

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