Office Bunny

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(1).  That hot, new assistant they just hired in the accounting department.  Thank goodness the copy machine is right next to your desk … right, tiger?

 

“So, did you check out the new office bunny down on the 2nd floor?  I bet I could tag ‘er.  Think I could tag ‘er?  I totally think I could tag ‘er.”

 

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Office Synergies

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(1). Ways in which two firms’ services can compliment each other if working together, usually suggested by the weaker party in an attempt to gain access to the other’s client list.

 

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Officeflirting

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(1).  We get it.  Everyone does it.  Just take it easy on the drinks there, dad.

 

“Man, did you see Tom and Susan at the bar last night?  I think they take officeflirting to a whole new level!”

 

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Offline

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(1). Unreachable by email or voicemail, often used by vacationing managers to indicate to their employees that they do not want to be contacted while they are away.

 

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Offsite

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(1). An all-day or multi-day staff meeting which is intended to address major strategic or workplace issues.  Prior to the 2008 financial crisis, offsites were usually held at a resort or similar location, but are now generally held in a conference room (coffee may even be provided, budget-permitting).

 

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On The Same Page

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(1). A common expression used when confirming that two or more people are clear on what they are supposed to be doing, usually used when one person appears to be completely unclear on what he is supposed to be doing.

 

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On Top Of It

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(1).  A transparent lie you tell your boss when asked about a project you don’t even remember being assigned.  See all over it.

 

“The system conversion?  I’m on top of it, boss.  Just so the rest of the team is in the loop, would you mind going over what we’re supposed to be doing again?”

 

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Onboard

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(1).  To open accounts for a new client, usually involving long, unexplained delays, endless, intrusive paperwork and little to no satisfaction once complete.

 

“Yeah, so we’re looking to onboard the Hanson accounts sometime next week.  Just need them to provide blood and hair samples and we should be all set.”

 

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One-On-One

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(1).  An unsolicited, often recurring, meeting with your boss intended to (a) make it appear to your co-workers like you are more important to the business than you actually are, and (b) make it appear to your boss like you are more important to the business than you actually are.

 

“Sorry, Tom.  Can’t make the 2 o’clock call.  I’ve got my one-on-one with Jim.  Yeah, you know, gotta go over some numbers, some of the things I’ve been working on, big picture stuff….”

 

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Only Child

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(1).  Your top priority or, more often, your only choice.

 

“I told the IT guys to think of me as their only child when it comes to allocating resources this year.”

 

(2).  The prima donna on your staff who you tend to give all of the plum assignments to just so they will stop bothering you about how they have no “career path”.

 

“Bob knows I’m an only child when it comes to assigning the top accounts.”

 

Props to Denise for the submission.

 

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OOO

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(1).  An acronym for “out of office” usually used when an individual is “working from home“.

 

“Hey everyone, I’m gonna be OOO for the next few days.  If you need to get in touch with me, well, don’t actually.”

 

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Open Kimono

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(1).  A term used to describe full transparency on a deal or issue (i.e. opening the kimono to see what’s underneath).

 

“Okay guys, we’re going to have to be open kimono on this deal.”

 

Props to John M. for the submission.

 

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Optics

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(1).  Work done for a client that has no purpose other than to make it look like you are doing work for the client (see add value).

 

“Let’s suggest a few changes to the portfolio at tomorrow’s meeting.  I know we don’t need to, but these things are all about optics, right?”

 

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Optimize

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(1).  What your digital agency says they are doing on a month to month basis.

 

“The SEO team’s on-going optimizations are really starting to support the SEM team’s optimized landing pages which assist the Social Media team’s plan to optimize your site’s experience….get it?

 

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Organizationally Successful

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(1).  Able to integrate into the company’s elite circles, generally leading to higher pay and numerous (often perplexing) promotions.

 

“You know, Dan may be prominent in the industry, but he just isn’t organizationally successful, so I think it’s time for the gold watch!”

 

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Out of Pocket

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(1).  Paying for some work-related expense yourself with an expectation that your company will pay you back…in six to eight weeks…maybe.

 

“Okay, Alicia…here are my receipts for my Atlanta trip.  I had to go out of pocket on the cabs to and from the airport.  What do you mean that looks like my handwriting…?  Just process the lousy reimbursements, please…”

 

(2).  Not being reachable by email, phone, text, etc.

 

“I’m out of pocket for the rest of the day.”

 

Props to Mary K. for the submission.

 

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Outdoor Citizens

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(1).  The homeless.

 

“There has been an increase of outdoor citizen activity near the south end of the property.  Please call security if you encounter any outdoor citizens on the property.”

 

Props to Andrew C. for the submission.

 

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OZ-some

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(1).  An indication of approval from your Australian masters.  (Wait…why are we picking on the Australians…?  They’re like Americans, but without all of those pesky Kardashians.)

 

OZ-some.  Just OZ-some.  You guys really put something great together here.  Now, all we need is a spokesman.  I’m thinking Russell Crowe.  Isn’t he the guy who hit another guy with a phone?  ‘Member that?”

 

Props to John T. for the submission.

 

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