Profit Center

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(1).  That department where the people who make all the money work.  Click here for your department.

 

“So, are we a profit center or not?  The last five accounts you guys brought in were priced so low, we’re basically paying them!  No, go out there and get some clients who pay us!”

 

Pronged Approach

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(1).  A way to attack an issue from multiple fronts, usually suggested by people who can’t decide what to do and try to just throw everything at the problem in hopes that one of their ideas will work.

 

“Okay, team…we are going to use a three-pronged approach to resolve our recent data security problem.  Step 1: Everyone now needs a password to log in to the system.  Step 2: Jeff in IT should not have a password.  Step 3: Fire Jeff in IT.”

 

Props to Carlos B. for the submission.

 

Proprietary

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(1).  A software application, program or service offering that is unique to a company (and usually subject to patents or copyrights), often strikingly similar to a dozen other software applications, programs or service offerings by the company’s competitors (and probably designed using pirated software provided by disgruntled ex-employees).

 

“Alright everyone, we have finally rolled out our proprietary dashboard.  It took two years, countless hours and thousands of dollars, but I think we are finally going to be able to pull in Google Analytics!  What?  Yes, that’s pretty much all it does.  No, I don’t think it makes more sense to just log in to Google Analytics.  This thing has our logo on it!”

 

Prospect

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(1).  n.  A potential client which is currently being courted by a salesperson.  Prospects are generally treated as the most important person in the world during the marketing phase of the relationship.  However, once the prospect becomes an actual client, they will receive the same half-interested, annual-meetings-level of service as any of the salesperson’s other clients.

 

“I’ve got this huge prospect I’m working on right now, Jeff.  I don’t want to count chickens, but I’m feeling Bentley right now!”

 

(2).  v.  A gold-mining inspired term meaning to seek out new clients, either through direct marketing (i.e. cold calling) or networking (i.e. volunteering for a charity in hopes of meeting new clients).  As with gold mining, prospecting often leads to several dead ends, fool’s gold deposits (i.e. clients who lie about their net worth) and occasionally, a gem.

 

“Sup, Lo-Dawg.  I’m gonna need a couple hits for tonight.  Going out prospecting at the clubs, yo!”

 

Pull Out All The Stops

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(1). To take extraordinary measures to secure a prospective client.  “Pulling out all the stops” often includes fee concessions, though broker commissions are rarely part of the concession.

 

Punt

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(1).  Word incorrectly used to describe making a decision when the subject matter situation changes, affecting the original plan.  Should instead referred to as ‘calling an audible.’

 

“If that doesn’t work out, we’ll have to punt.”  (Facepalm)

 

Props to Cosgrove for the submission.

 

Push Back

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(1).  n.  A repeated attempt to obtain a different answer or result, often used while feigning guilt, and even more often resulting in something being escalated to management.

 

(2).  v.  To annoyingly attempt to obtain a different answer or result, often (depending on how pushy you are) resulting in some sort of successful outcome.

 

“Sorry for the push back, Andy, but I really think we should be able to get this done for twenty bips.  I’ll take this all the way up the chain of command, if I have to.”

 

Push It Out

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(1).  To dump a ton of work on someone else’s lap.

 

“I would love to go out for drinks tonight, but I have a ton of work to get done.  Let me see if I can push it out on the new associate and I’ll call you back.”

 

Put On Fee

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(1). In finance, to invest newly-received client assets in products offered by the firm.  The term is usually uttered by anxious stockbrokers (many of whom have already put down money on a pool or new car) when discussing, internally, clients who are reluctant to approve their investment recommendations.

 

Put on the Back Burner

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(1).  To refuse to allocate resources to a project or expenditure, often used by management to avoid telling their employees that the company is never, ever going to spring for new computers.

 

“I think color monitors are a great idea, Ken.  Unfortunately, we’re going to have to put that on the back burner for now.  We really need to focus on new company cars for the partners.”

 

Putting Out Fires

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(1).  An expression used to imply that you have been dealing with crises all day, in an attempt to (1) passive-aggressively complain about your job, (2) make yourself seem more important than you actually are, or (3) avoid taking on more work.

 

“Man, the bigger clients I almost exclusively work on are so demanding!  I’ve been putting out fires all afternoon.  I wish I worked on smaller, less meaningful clients like you, Jaime.  My life would be so much easier!”