Unpack This For Me

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(1).  A ridiculously dorky way of asking someone to explain something to you.

 

“Paul, can you unpack this report for me?  It makes no sense.”

 

Props to Keri K. for the submission.

 

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Up And Coming

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(1).  In real estate listings, a nice way to say “in a really dangerous neighborhood”.

 

“The location?  Oh, it’s really an up and coming area!  They just tore down the Laundromat, and I heard a Family Dollar’s going up where the old halfway house used to be!”

 

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Up On His Hind Legs

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(1).  The way some people get when someone challenges or disagrees with them, often ending in a public (and relatively salty) series of post-meeting rants.

 

“Whoa…Mike really got up on his hind legs this morning after David pushed back on his proposal.  I mean, did you ever hear someone drop the f-bomb so many times during one conference call?”

 

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Up-Charge

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(1).  To bill separately for additional services that some competitors may provide free of charge.  These fees are generally intended to cover the costs of unnecessary business units (see nice-to-have) whose services can easily be removed from the firm’s offering in a down year and are often waived anyway.

 

“Everybody, we’re going to start up-charging our clients a technology fee.  If anyone asks, just tell them we needed to invest in new technology to make sure their campaign ran at an optimal level.  Gold mine.”

 

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Uplift

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(1).  A huge, and largely cosmetic, upgrade to your current, obsolete systems.  Or in other words … money well spent!

 

“So, we are looking to roll out the platform uplift sometime in Q2.  Certain dependencies remain which may impact this timeline, including Ken over here never showing up for work.  Oh, and Ken?  Can you see me in my office after this call?”

 

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