Gaining Traction

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(1).  What you tell your boss when he asks how much the company’s made off of that really expensive ad campaign you talked him into running.

 

“Well, I don’t think it’s right to measure our success in dollar terms, you know?  But I can say that we’re gaining traction in our target demos, except for men 18 to 49, women 25 to 55 or children.”

 

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Join Forces

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(1).  Term used in advertising when two firms merge (due to takeover, government intervention, bankruptcy, etc.) to imply that customers should actually be pleased with what will likely result in poorer service and higher fees.

 

“We are proud to announce that the Bank of the Southern Climes has joined forces with First National Bank of Blister County to bring you an even better client experience than ever before.  Please note the following branch closings…”

 

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Loose Lips Sink Ships

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(1).  A term coined during World War II warning people to not openly talk about secure military information that is now used in fear campaigns by The Coca-Cola Company among it’s employees to guard it’s secret formula.

 

“Shhhh, Bryan!!  Listen man, I know you’re new here, but you can’t just go around telling everyone that it’s Pellegrino & Aunt Jemima’s mixed together.  Loose lips sink ships around here, big cola is watching…..”

 

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Media Agnostic

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(1).  Media neutral.  It’s supposed to mean that there is no preference for a given media channel in advertising, but it really just means the agency doesn’t know what it’s doing and doesn’t want to commit to anything lest it appear stupid.

 

“We’ve been relatively media agnostic for our campaigns these days…why, what are you guys doing…you know…specifically….”

 

Props to Deb for the submission.

 

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Partnering

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(1). A euphemism for outsourcing certain functions to another firm or service provider, intended to imply that the use of the other provider is to the customer’s benefit, as opposed to simply a cost-saving measure, which it invariably is.

 

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Your Baby is Ugly

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(1).  The tough love statement you need to tell your client when they refuse to believe that nobody likes their brand, company, or product.

 

“Listen Mike, it doesn’t matter how many times you say “everyone loves our manure scented candles” and “they smell like nature”, it just isn’t true.  Your baby is uglyManandles stink, literally.”

 

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