Up-Charge

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(1).  To bill separately for additional services that some competitors may provide free of charge.  These fees are generally intended to cover the costs of unnecessary business units (see nice-to-have) whose services can easily be removed from the firm’s offering in a down year and are often waived anyway.

 

“Everybody, we’re going to start up-charging our clients a technology fee.  If anyone asks, just tell them we needed to invest in new technology to make sure their campaign ran at an optimal level.  Gold mine.”

 

Value Add

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(1).  An indeterminate skill or service that is generally considered unimportant or extraneous.  Members of unnecessary business units (see nice-to-have) often use the term to justify to management that the service they provide is vital to the company.  Value Adds are often difficult to identify and explain, and may provide management with an excuse to liquidate the business unit altogether.

 

“We need to show the client the value adds we’re bringing to the table here.  How else are we going to justify the ridiculous fee we just quoted?”

 

Verbal Dexterity Coach

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(1).  Some senior sales guy that’s assigned to teach the new hires how to get little old ladies to unwittingly buy their crappy reverse mortgages.

 

“So, I was talking to my verbal dexterity coach today and he told me I need to beef up my emotional intelligence before they’ll let me start prospecting again.  I don’t get it … what’s wrong with handing out business cards at a funeral home?!”

 

Warm and Fuzzy

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(1).  A sense of camaraderie and service.  The term is usually used when indicating to someone that they (or their team) are being obstructive or unhelpful.

 

“You know, Mike, I’m not really getting a warm and fuzzy feeling from you guys on this.  All we’re asking is that you take on this extremely time-consuming project at half your normal fee.  This is for a really huge client of ours, you know!”

 

Wet Signature

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(1).  An actual signature (with a pen).  Remember those?

 

“So, Compliance told us we need a wet signature on this document.  Gross.”

 

Whale

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(1).  A hugely rich prospect which, if they become a client, will probably allow the broker to go out and buy that Maserati he’s had his eye on.

 

“So, I heard Scott over there landed a whale last week.  I also heard you didn’t, so…I think we’re going to have to let you go, Gary.”

 

Whale Hunter

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(1).  That sales executive in your office that only goes after huge prospects.  His prey is elusive and his competition is intense.  Yet, if he scores just one win, his year is set.  But if he doesn’t….

 

“Who … Ron?  That guy’s a whale hunter.  He’s got, like, two multi-billion dollar prospects in the hopper right now.  If only one of them pans out … it’s right to the Maserati dealer!”