Catch Up Live

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(1).  A suggestion made over email intended to indicate that something should not be discussed over email.

 

“Let’s catch up live when you have a moment to discuss the issue with the Smith account.”

 

Dogs And Ponies Stay Outside

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(1).  A term used to discourage overzealous salesmen from overselling themselves and/or their company’s services.

 

“Ok guys, I’m sorry, but I am going to have to stop you there.  While I find it fascinating that you have an office Roomba and have named it ‘Keith’ and treat it like it’s alive, I really need you to get to the point of this conversation.  Dogs and ponies stay outside, ya get what I’m sayin’?”

 

Dress For The Job You Want, Not The Job You Have

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(1).  A statement suggesting that wearing that Pearl Jam t-shirt to work probably isn’t the best path to management.

 

“Hey Dave, I saw you applied for the director’s position, that’s great!  One thing though.  “Ten” came out like 20 years ago so you might want to start throwing a button-down on once in awhile.  Dress for the job you want, not the job you have!  Ya know what I mean?”

 

GOMER

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(1).  What ER docs on TV never tell people who don’t belong there (by the way, it stands for “Get Outta My Emergency Room”).

 

“Look, Mrs. Fitzgibbons, your husband is almost certainly dead.  We’ll go through the motions for a bit to make you feel better, but I really have to insist … GOMERGOMERGOMER!”

 

Props to T.K. for the submission.

 

Loose Lips Sink Ships

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(1).  A term coined during World War II warning people to not openly talk about secure military information that is now used in fear campaigns by The Coca-Cola Company among it’s employees to guard it’s secret formula.

 

“Shhhh, Bryan!!  Listen man, I know you’re new here, but you can’t just go around telling everyone that it’s Pellegrino & Aunt Jemima’s mixed together.  Loose lips sink ships around here, big cola is watching…..”

 

My Calendar’s Up-To-Date

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(1).  A not-so-subtle way to tell someone to stop asking if you’re available for a “quick call”.

 

“Umm…I should be around next Thursday, I think.  My calendar’s up-to-date, so just send a meeting request.”

 

Props to Meg D. for the submission.

 

Team Up

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(1). A request or demand for a meeting (see pow wow) by an over-caffeinated middle manager to his much younger employees in a vain attempt to appear hip.