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(1). Reduction In Force – to be laid off, in governnment or teaching parlance.
“The mayor of NYC is calling for thousands of teachers to be RIF-ed but the president of the UFT says it’s all B.S.”
+10
(1). Some kind of new IQ test the government makes kids take to see if they’re going to be doctors or…not doctors.
“My son found the Woodcock-Johnson to be a little overwhelming…I think he definitely needs to have extra time when he takes his SATs…my attorney thinks so, too.”
Props to Katie B. for the submission.
+10
(1). What most people take after work, but what teachers take before work. God bless our children.
“Ugh…I’ve got lunch duty today. Good thing I sprinkled some Xanax into my coffee this morning…”
Props to V for the submission.
+20
(1). In real estate listings, a house that is way too small for you and your seven kids to live in.
“I think you’re just going to love this next one! It’s an adorable three-bedroom cape right on a quiet, little corner lot. Those lights? Oh, it’s just the 7-Eleven parking lot. Don’t worry, almost no one ever tries to jump the fence.”
+20
(1). The portion of a website that companies usually flood with scrolling pictures of happy people and inspirational testimonials about their products. It is usually used to portray themselves as warm and caring, when they most likely are anything but.
“You know what we need in the hero space, John? More pictures of people in suits succeeding! And….and….whales breaching the water! Nothing says “buy our pharmaceutical supplies” like whales breaching!
+20