Drill Down

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(1). To discuss a topic in more detail; usually suggested during meetings by someone who has no idea what anyone is talking about.

 

“I think we need to drill down a bit more on this one.  Just saying ‘it is what it is’ just doesn’t do it for me.”

 

Drink the Kool-Aid

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(1).  To accept corporate propoganda as truth, often feigned in an attempt to curry favor with one’s superiors.

 

(2).  To blindly follow what other companies are doing regardless of how silly and/or unprofitable the move may be.

 

“Alright, team, we’re just going to drink the Kool-Aid on this one.  I have a tee time in an hour.” 

 

“It’s always scary to drink the Kool-Aid, but it’s far scarier to be different!”

 

Drop the Ball

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(1).  Expression used to imply someone has not taken proper action when prompted (i.e. shirking or neglecting one’s duties).

 

“Scott really dropped the ball on that project when he skipped the conference call.  He never referred the information to the client and now they’re irate at us!”

 

Props to Brad for the submission.

 

Duplicate Effort

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(1).  When two people are working on overlapping projects that will basically get you to the same place in the end.

 

“Now, I don’t want to duplicate effort here, so I think we should let Tom put the presentation for the Honolulu conference together… Ken, why don’t you focus on booking Tom and I flights and hotels for the trip to Hawaii…?”

 

Eat The Elephant In One Bite

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(1). A safari inspired term that compares taking on too much work in a short period of time, to eating an elephant.  Yup.

 

“Well David, I don’t want to eat the elephant in one bite here so do we really need the holiday promotion and the clown thing?  I mean, one of these things is not like the other…you know what i mean?”

 

Eat What You Kill

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(1).  A hunting-inspired term used to explain to new stock brokers that their compensation is completely dependent on their sales numbers.

 

“Sorry, Brian…you eat what you kill around here, you know.  Didn’t hit your numbers, so off to your new life as a barista you go.”

 

Props to Mark R. for the submission.

 

Efforting

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(1).  To work on something known to be futile.

 

“Oh, hi Jim … the Hanson account? … umm … yeah, we’re efforting to get that through the pipeline this week, but … you know … with year-end and all, it might be delayed a bit … umm … sure, I know it’s a really important client … I’ll touch base with you on Monday, okay? … yep, Merry Christmas to you, too…”

 

Empire-Building

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(1).  When you only hire people in your department who will never, ever pose a threat to you.  That’s one way to find the “best people”, champ.

 

“So, we’ve had four people come through here that were perfect for the job.  But Florence rejected every one of them.  Trying a little empire-building, I think.  The joke’s on her, though … we’re just going to take away the req.”

 

Failing Up

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(1).  Inexplicably continuing to advance in your career irrespective of results, skill, judgment or intelligence.  Good for you, boss!

 

“I don’t understand it!  Fred is months behind schedule, way over budget and they just gave him another huge project to manage!  Man, talk about failing up!”

 

Fish Or Cut Bait

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(1).  Make a decision or get out of the way, New Boss with No Management Experience!

 

“Look, Jim, you’ve been ‘considering’ our proposal to switch to all-black pens for a week now.  Time to fish or cut bait, you know what I mean?”

 

Flesh It Out

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(1).  Taking a simple outline and providing all of the details to support it.

 

“Okay, now picture this…Return of the GO BOTS!  What do you think?  Doesn’t matter…Tom, why don’t you flesh it out and get back to us with a proposal for our Monday morning meeting.  Well, have a good weekend, everyone!”

 

Props to Ross G. for the submission.

 

Flesh Out

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(1).  To go back and add more detail to some half-assed idea you mentioned during last Monday’s staff meeting (not to be confused with “flush out”, which probably means something else entirely).

 

“Hey Dan, thanks for your input here.  I’d like you to flesh out your proposal a bit more, though.  Do you think you can have a functional spec ready for us by next Tuesday?  I know you’re getting married the next day, but this could really help us shave some pennies from our P&L.”

 

Flip Flop

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(1).  When a political candidate changes his mind on an issue.  Because we should all be held to some stupid thing we said 20 years ago in a college paper about God or the environment.  I don’t know about you guys, but most of my college papers were written in about 45 minutes the night before it was due.  Who knows what I said?!

 

“This just goes to prove that the governor flip flops on the issues.  How can we believe anything he says when we know that in 8th grade he believed the greatest threat to our nation was the New Kids on the Block?  And now he says it’s Iran!  Incredible!”

 

Folderize

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(1).  When information, documents, papers, emails, etc. are placed into a physical or digital folder for organizational ease of use.

 

“My secretary will folderize all of my invoices according to month so she can file them away appropriately.”

 

Props to Brad for the submission.

 

Full Court Press

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(1). A basketball term used by management to pressure sales staff to concentrate on a favored (read: expensive) or, more likely, under-performing product.

 

Gaining Traction

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(1).  What you tell your boss when he asks how much the company’s made off of that really expensive ad campaign you talked him into running.

 

“Well, I don’t think it’s right to measure our success in dollar terms, you know?  But I can say that we’re gaining traction in our target demos, except for men 18 to 49, women 25 to 55 or children.”

 

Generate from the Back-End

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(1).  To create a report that can only be run by the IT or Operations department.  As the name implies, the report is usually messy and requires a ton of clean up.

 

“Okay, so the next step would be for Sam to generate the report from his back-end, so we can review and decide where we go from here.”

 

Get In Front Of

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(1). To proactively address an issue which is identified as potentially dangerous to the firm or a client relationship.  The term is often used when trying to quietly clean up an error before the client notices anything is wrong.

 

Get into Bed

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(1).  To take on a new client that you know is going to cause trouble for you down the road, but is just too lucrative right now to pass up.

 

(2).  To hire a service provider (read: outsource firm) that will be next to impossible to unload once they’re in place.

 

“You know once we get into bed with these guys, we’re never going to be able to get rid of them.  Like the Kardashians.”

 

Get On My Calendar

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(1). A ploy used by senior managers when employees unexpectedly attempt to voice workplace or compensation concerns to push the uncomforatble conversations off to a later date in hopes that (1) the employee will lose the nerve to continue the conversation, or (2) scheduling conflicts will postpone the talk indefinitely.

 

Get Some Headlights On That

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(1).  To make something a priority or renew focus on a particular issue.

 

“What did you just say, Tom?  ‘Get some head lice on that’?  Gross! … Oh, get some headlights on that … got it … yeah, we should totally do that.”

 

Props to Kyle B. for the submission.

 

Go Behind The Website

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(1).  To try to find out what a company’s really all about.  Turns out, they do way less than they say they do … and cost way more.

 

“Look, Tom, this is all great stuff, but we really need to go behind the website here to find out what we’d really be paying for.  Sounds like a lot of ‘will do’s’ but not a lot of ‘can do’s’ to me.”

 

Go Green

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(1). To pretend to care about the environment.

 

“Attention everyone.  Per the company’s new go green initiative, there is now a recycling bin in the closet.”

 

Go Live

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(1).  IT or Ops term for releasing a new software program or application, intended to create a sense of accomplishment among programmers and processors for a systems-enhancement that will likely go unnoticed.

 

“We’re planning to go live with the new intranet homepage over the weekend.  Great job, everyone!  Now our employees will have a slightly nicer-looking webpage to jump to ESPN.com from every morning!”

 

Go Paperless

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(1). To forbid employees from keeping paper files, usually resulting in the loss of important documents and higher use of printer paper, due to the constant printing and disposing of PDFs which are either needed for meetings or simply difficult to read online.

 

Go Postal

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(1).  A spectacular event in which an employee completely loses his or her marbles and goes all Michael Douglas on the office.

 

(2).  A far less exciting event involving an embarrassingly loud rant about something or other by a disgruntled employee in the breakroom.

 

“It was crazy.  One minute, Judy and I were talking about last night’s Survivor tribal council and the next minute – blagh! – she goes all postal about something Nick said to her about timesheets or whatever.  Like that’s what I need at 9 a.m.!”

 

Grab Defeat Out Of The Jaws Of Victory

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(1).  The failure to stop talking after a client has already agreed to whatever it is you wanted them to do, often causing them to rethink their decision, which in turn results in you going home empty-handed.

 

“So, the meeting was going great…they agreed to move forward and I was pulling out the paperwork for them to sign…and then here comes Henry!  He wouldn’t shut up!  He just kept going and going.  I can’t remember what he said exactly, but they told us they needed to ‘think about it some more’ and that’s where the meeting ended…talk about grabbing defeat out of the jaws of victory!”

 

Green Fielding

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(1).  The art of turning a simple PDF into an annoying, electronic form that never has enough room to fit what you want to write or simply adjusts the size of the entry so you can’t make it out at all.  The result: you end up printing it off and pen-and-inking all of the entries by hand.

 

“So, I just finished green fielding the new account documents.  It looks great, although, we should probably mention somewhere that you’re limited to 30 characters on every line.”

 

Grow Organically

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(1). To develop a software application, program or service offering from scratch, without using outsourced providers (see proprietary), usually resulting in high cost, extreme delays and poor customer support.

 

Hand Holding

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(1).  The lion’s share of a wealth manager’s job.  Rich people can be very needy at times.

 

“Yeah, the meeting went fine.  These folks need a lot of hand holding, you know?  Hey, as long as they keep paying those fees, right?”

 

High-Level

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(1).  To bring a proposal to the boss for approval.

 

“I’m not sure we have the budget to add another CRM enhancement to our Outlook servers.  We’re going to have to high-level this one to make sure it’s okay with the powers that be.”

 

Hoteling

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(1).  The ridiculous corporate practice of punishing your employees by assigning them a new desk each day.  One day, you’re sitting next to the hot babe from HR, and the next, it’s Earl from Data Management Tech who likes to sing along to the soft rock station he’s streaming on his Toughbook.

 

“So, our company started hoteling last month.  It’s supposed to foster the exchange of ideas across different areas of the firm.  The only problem is – all we talk about is how much we hate hoteling.”

 

Hurry Up And Wait

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(1).  To be given an extremely tight deadline to get something to a client, only to end up sitting around for weeks afterward while the client decides what they want to do.

 

“Well, Jeff, the client called and thanked us for getting the documents out to them, but told me they are having a meeting about them next week, so we won’t hear anything until after that…hurry up and wait, right?”

 

In The Weeds

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(1). Too detailed.

 

(2). To explain a topic with too much detail to listeners who do not care about whatever it is you do.

 

“Whoa, whoa…we’re getting a little far in the weeds here.  Can we get back to ordering lunch?”

 

In-House

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(1).  To replace a system your company currently licenses with one your tech guys build themselves.  Get ready for a buggy UI!

 

“So, we’re looking to in-house our general ledger system.  Dipal said it would take six months and cost about half a million bucks.  So, I’m prepping for about an 18-month turnaround with a budget of about two million bucks.”

 

Ingest Assets

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(1).  To upload electronic files.

 

“We’re reaching out to our offshore partners, asking them to ingest our assets after lunch.”

 

Props to D. M. for the submission.

 

Instead of Shooting Fish in a Barrel, We Should Go Out and Buy a Fishing Pole

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(1).  A suggestion to stop focusing on many small action items (see low-hanging fruit) and target one, major problem to resolve.  The person who used this thought he was super clever.

 

“Look, guys, instead of shooting fish in a barrel, we should go out and buy a fishing pole and fix the underlying system issue that’s causing all of these other problems.  I’m awesome, by the way.”

 

Join Forces

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(1).  Term used in advertising when two firms merge (due to takeover, government intervention, bankruptcy, etc.) to imply that customers should actually be pleased with what will likely result in poorer service and higher fees.

 

“We are proud to announce that the Bank of the Southern Climes has joined forces with First National Bank of Blister County to bring you an even better client experience than ever before.  Please note the following branch closings…”

 

Juggle

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(1).  To work on multiple tasks or assignments at once (see balls in the air), often used during stress-induced nervous breakdowns occurring after a new, unexpected additional assignment has been given.

 

“I’m juggling so many things right now, I can’t take it!  If Fred gives me one more thing to do, I’m going to go postal!”

 

Jump Ship

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(1).  To quit your job after learning (or strongly suspecting) your company is going down.

 

“So, I heard Aaron jumped ship last week.  That’s the second guy to go in the last two weeks!  And guess who’s getting all their accounts?  Go on, guess!”

 

Keep in the Loop

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(1). To make sure you have sufficient air cover for whatever you’re working on by cc-ing everyone you can think of on your emails.

 

“Well, I’ve been keeping Jim in the loop on this the whole time, so he’s definitely aware of what’s going on.  Definitely.”