(1). A conference (1) that requires travel to a hotel or resort (usually connected to a golf course), (2) whose sessions can be easily avoided, and (3) which includes multiple occasions to generously partake of the hotel bar, usually in the form of sponsored cocktail hours.
“I love these boondoggles. Nothing but golf, booze and time away from the kids. By the way, did anyone go to that ‘Ethical Financial & Banking Practices’ seminar? No? Ok good, I didn’t either. 2008 is going to be a great year!”
(1). A nautical term used by new managers or consultants when describing their plan for turning around a struggling business unit (or, in other words, layoffs).
“Team, Q3 results come out tomorrow and I don’t have to tell you all it’s not going to be pretty. We need to right the ship or else all of us are going to be looking for new jobs. Speaking of which…Jim, can I see you in my office after we wrap up here?”
Real Life Lingo
I am not sure why so many of these terms are derived from the sea. Perhaps it’s because every manager believes they are the captain of some sort of seafaring vessel with a copy machine on deck. Either way, a few years ago I worked at an upstart .com, and my boss loved to say we are going to right the ship every time things weren’t going too well. Which pretty much was the entire year I worked there, so I heard that phrase a lot.
My advice to anyone would be two-fold, one, when you’re trying to make your band and musical dreams work, don’t just take the first job that says ok to hiring you, they may go out of business and never pay you. And two, if your boss is constantly saying that you are going to right the ship in the next quarter, it’s probably time to start looking for a new job.