Value Add

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(1).  An indeterminate skill or service that is generally considered unimportant or extraneous.  Members of unnecessary business units (see nice-to-have) often use the term to justify to management that the service they provide is vital to the company.  Value Adds are often difficult to identify and explain, and may provide management with an excuse to liquidate the business unit altogether.


“We need to show the client the value adds we’re bringing to the table here.  How else are we going to justify the ridiculous fee we just quoted?”


Value Proposition

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(1).  A term used to describe a pitch by a struggling business unit to try to explain to the firm’s sales force why they should be marketing their product or service (see value add, nice-to-have).  Value Propositions often appear desperate, but are useful in providing members of the business unit with bullet points for their resumes, which likely will need to be updated shortly.


“So, let me get this straight.  Your firm’s value proposition is that you’re the ‘Pluto’ of the marketing world and you’re making a comeback?”


Verbal Dexterity Coach

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(1).  Some senior sales guy that’s assigned to teach the new hires how to get little old ladies to unwittingly buy their crappy reverse mortgages.


“So, I was talking to my verbal dexterity coach today and he told me I need to beef up my emotional intelligence before they’ll let me start prospecting again.  I don’t get it … what’s wrong with handing out business cards at a funeral home?!”


Version Control

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(1).  Something very difficult to maintain when you keep asking fifteen people for “their thoughts” in every, stinking email you send (see too many cooks in the kitchen).


“So, it looks like we’re having a little problem with version control here.  I’m looking at the one marked ‘v.2 MGH’, but Tom seems to have one marked ‘v.4 JKL’.  Anyone know which one is the latest?  Maybe we should just start over?”



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(1).  A term for a business-related market segment to which you focus selling your product or service.


“So, I’m hitting the gun show tomorrow to try to bring these babies to that vertical.  Wait…you mean they have actual guns at the gun show?  Aw, man…”


Props to Guy G. for the submission.